Fool
by The Omniscient Bookseller
Summary: What a fool, to live so long in a waking dream....
1. Racetrack: Fool To Love

I have a yay! idea for where this is going! Wheee! So it has been a bit re-done. 

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Don't

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I

So

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Certainly

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Long to

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Acquire the

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Incredible

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Movie

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Entitled "Newsies"

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Right now!

I don't cry often. Maybe once or twice every year. I don't cry often at all, not like I used to. 

Three times this week, my pillow's been wet when I fell asleep. 

Every night, the tales you tell. The grins, the jokes, the laughter, the teasing. The stories you bring about this new girl, or that old one. The waitress at Tibby's, the stagehand at Medda's. Each name a blow. Someday, you will knock me down. 

I see you flirting on the street. I see you remembering. I see you happy with your life, happy with the girls who so freely give themselves to you. 

There are other things, I long to tell you. There are other things than love. There are sunsets, and smiles, and good food, and stories. There are friends, and fights, and games, and dances. There are other things, I tell myself. There are other things than love. 

I stay, like a faithful servant, and take the punishment you unknowingly dole out to me. I let the blows rain down, accepting them as part of me. I do not run, I do not fight. I do not try to take the pain away. 

I don't know why I love you. There are a million reasons, and none of them good. I don't know why I take the beatings, the abuse. I don't know why, but I will continue until I am too hurt to feel the impact of each blow. 

I don't cry often. Maybe once or twice every year. I don't cry often at all, not like I used to.

Only fools cry. 


	2. Kara: Fool To Dream

This is random and short…I'm not sure who the newsie is, you decide. And tell me. Because a sequel is forming in my brain, but he needs an identity. 

It doesn't belong to me, really, but I can't find anything in it that belongs to Disney. So, it must belong to someone else. *donates it to the lost and found*

I'd thought there was something special.

In the way you smiled at me, the way we would meet in the same place every day, in the little things you'd tell me about your friends, and your life. I'd thought it mattered…_I_ mattered. 

Every night, my belief in you would waver, and I would think that something I was wrong, that something would be different. And then the next morning, there you'd be, waiting, with a grin and the latest news of the city and its people. Every night, I'd tell myself that you were too good to be true. And you were.

When I saw the two of you together yesterday, I realized what a fool I'd been. And what a harsh realization it was.

What a fool, to live so long in a waking dream. To assume that you shared my emotions. To think that I was more than an acquaintance, or maybe a friend. To think I was more than just pleasant conversation and another penny every day.

I am a dreamer, awakening from what I thought was reality. 

I am a writer, returning from a world of happy endings.

I am a child, realizing for the first time that this world is fraught with death and tragedy.

I am a fool, and the whole world is laughing…

…at my tears.


	3. Kid Blink: Fool To Pretend

Poor angsty newsies 'long to Disney. Maybe that's why they're so sad. 

I hide from myself. I've been doing it all my life. I'm afraid of what I'll see if I look too deep. I'm afraid of what I'll feel if I let my heart take over. I rule myself, with a strict hand. I bury my emotions deep under layers and layers of lies. I've eliminated 'want' in favor of 'should'. I am a clone. I am perfectly normal, neutral.

It's not like I've lost my real self, like I don't know who I am. No, I try to hide, but I don't always succeed. The truth struggles to show itself, but I won't let it. 

At least, I hope I won't. 

I'm getting quite the reputation as a lady's man. Almost every night now, a girl A kind of desperate proving to myself, trying to ignore my feelings. And it's working.

…isn't it?

Then why is it that I find myself watching you all the time? Why is it that your smile twists my insides, your touch makes me shiver?

I've pretended so many times, convinced myself about this girl or the other, told so many lies. There's no way I can't realize what's happening. 

I become more and more the exact normal, watching the others. I have no quirks. A girl every night, trying to drown out the echo of my instincts. 

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You damn fool, Kid. There's no use hiding anymore. No use pretending. You can't deny it.

You damn fool. You can't live your life as someone you're not.


End file.
